Arwen: Looking For A New Home

[kenshardik]

While I was out today and Eva was home, Arwen defecated on some plastic near the sewing machine. We are convinced that these incidents are emotional issues. The ONE thing that's changed in the apartment is that Eva put up a black curtain by her bedroom door to block light from the living room if I'm watching late-night TV. At first it was in the hall between the living room and the bathroom, and then Eva moved it to her bedroom door frame. This may have scared Arwen and made her nervous about using the litter boxes in that location.

We have her locked in the bathroom right now and taken down the curtain, as she defecated on the carpet back beyond the sofa a little while ago. At this point with the things going on in my life and in Eva's, we can no longer deal with the situation. We cannot abide where if we add a simple curtain or change something else in the apartment that we end up freaking out a cat and causing it to piss and shit all over the place. It's too much stress on Arwen and too much stress on us.

We talked about it tonight, and we have agreed to give Arwen up.

(Please see HISTORY below for more information on what we have done to deal with the situation.)

I will be taking her to the Tompkins County SPCA as soon as possible - tomorrow, Friday, as soon as I can make an appointment. If you or anyone you know can take her, please let me know ASAP.

She is a very sweet and lovable cat, but that living in our small apartment with two other cats - one who has never accepted her - has caused her some emotional distress. She would do well as a single cat or somewhere where she can be an indoor/outdoor cat. (She has been an indoor cat all her life.) She is fixed and has had all her shots. She craves attention and love (which we have given to her in abundance). She is absolutely adorable.

This has been a hard decision for us. We have talked about giving her up before, but we loved her too much and were willing to compromise our quality of life so we could keep her. But we can't do it anymore.

Maybe we didn't do everything we could to fix the situation. Maybe we are responsible for inadvertently encouraging to use plastic as an acceptable secondary bathroom. I'm sure I'm forgetting a lot of other things we may or may not have tried. I know Eva tried making the boxes more accessible in addition to making sure they were cleaner.

Please don't write comments about us being cruel, making a hasty decision, or not trying everything. If you look at the history section below, you'll see that we HAVE tried if not everything then damn near everything. We don't want to give her up, but there's nothing more we can do. It's breaking our hearts.

If you want her or have someone who can take her IMMEDIATELY, please let me know ASAP.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and cry.

- - - - -

HISTORY

Info on how we got here is here assuming my computer is up and running. More pix of her are here.

Basically, we got Arwen back in October 2002. Her whiskers were chomped when we got her, so she wasn't welcome by some other cats somewhere (no slight to Rauncie and her loving brood). Kip adored her from the start and loves playing with her. My cat Ember has never liked her and still hisses at her occasionally even today.

After Arwen was fixed she started having litter box issues. She would piss in the litter box occasionally, but if the boxes weren't pristine she would use the tub or the bathroom floor. We put a second box in the bathroom, but the behavior continued. This eventually spread to the carpeted hall outside the bathroom. We would clean the carpet with Nature's Miracle and use another spray whose name I've forgotten to discourage her use of that area, but it didn't help. We would lock her in the bathroom for the day when she did this, visiting her frequently, making sure the boxes in the bathroom were clean. The behavior continued. We tried other techniques to try and discourage the behavior as well; I can't recall all of them.

Eva eventually put a thick plastic sheet and two more litter boxes in the hallway. She would use the boxes occasionally and then piss on the plastic. Eva removed one of the boxes and started using these "doggie diaper" sheets in the box out in the hall, our thought being that she didn't like a dirty box and that this box in the hall would be cleaner and drier (with the absorbent sheet below the grating of the box). We had three boxes for three cats. Arwen continued to use the box occasionally and then use the sheet outside the bathroom to urinate and defecate. Eva would clean the sheet frequently and change the lining in the box even more frequently.

Outside of the litter box behavior, she's also been known to claw at the paneling outside my door and to eat a plant of Eva's by the windowsill.

She is also incredibly cute, loving, playful, and has a wonderful if needy personality. I may complain about her "4am meetings" where she'd wake me up by running over me, mewing, and licking my hand, but a part of me really found this adorable.

We've recently been leaving the door to our apartment open to help keep things cool, as have our neighbors Sarah and Chris. Occasionally Kip or Ember have walked over to our neighbor's apartment. I do not know if Arwen has ventured over there or not. She loves people, especially Sarah who gives her catnip.

Comments

[polypolyglot.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* I'm sorry, Joe.

[mrama.livejournal.com]

Sounds like Arwen is just like my Dante, he does the same thing and I've reached my wits end a few times. We need to get into a house so badly, so I can let him go outside again. I never thought I'd allow my cats to go outdoors, but it helped a bit. Maybe Arwen just needs to not share a litter and be able to go outside from time to time. I'm chanting for her that she finds a new home quickly.

[fabunobo.livejournal.com]

I support your decision. Not because I'm a cat-hater, but because it truly sounds like you've tried everything to make this pet a happy part of your family.

[keeyoo.livejournal.com]

Damn. I'd take her except we already have two cats and a dog and, well, you know our menagerie. She'd probably turn herself inside out in our house... I hate making decisions like this; I still cry about Raven and Luke now and then.

[kenshardik]

I ended up sitting in the bathroom for like half an hour at 3am, crying and apologizing to Arwen.

[sunpony.livejournal.com]

Having gone through this myself with a dog, I sympathize! It sounds like you have done as much as you can without going bonkers! I'm sorry to hear that you have to give her up, but she needs to be in place where she is happier, and y'all need some relief from the stress of the situation. Good luck.

[fabunobo.livejournal.com]

Dog stress can be HUGE! I've had that experience as well. My former partner got a puppy which needed much more care than either of us busy career people could give it - against my will, I might add. Sadly, it became impossible to house train, tore everything to bits, and really resulted in my living like a prisoner in one room my own home. It was a horrible experience. Well, there were other factors, but the dog was an innocent entity that should not have been added to the mix.

[sunpony.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the first dog that dansr and I got was her first dog, which Ex #1 had been taking care of for several years. He basically left her outside all the time and she was virtually feral. After keeping us up all night yowling, leaving excretory presents for us, and biting me, we decided she had to go. We gave her to a "rescue" group that apparently had her put down shortly after we turned the dog over to them. Now, THAT will make you feel like a craprat!!!!

Now, we have Keeva. Unlike your situation however, we both talked about taking her, and while the housetraining is not going great, in most other respects she is turning out to be a good dog. She will probably get a little rebellious in her puppy-teens, but with both of us not working full-time, we can do the training that she needs and spend quality time with her, which should help reduce bad behavior later. We definitely do not want to be prisoners in our own house again! It's too bad that your own puppy experience was so negative. :-(

[stregadelsol.livejournal.com]

I would take her in a heartbeat, but we're not sure what we are going to do with the one we have during the 4 months we will be displaced due to construction.

I feel horrible I can't help. I feel horrible for you and Eva, that is such a heart breaking, gut wrenching decision. *big huge hugs*

[ruffian-wind.livejournal.com]

*Huge hugs* You are doing the right thing. It sounds like you've been trying to get this to work for a long time.

Im so sorry

[phoenixmedusa.livejournal.com]

I know how badly you both must feel. I know you have tried everything and have been very good to her.
I think she really needs to be in a one cat household. I have owned two Main Coons in my life and both of them had pissing problems if there were other cats involved. They seem to me to be more territorial than other cats.
I will put out the word.
On another note...we are trying to find Tybolt a home....Naomi is not going to be able to keep him. *sigh* He is such a sweet cat and he has gone through so much. I hope we find him a good home soon.

Re: Im so sorry

[kenshardik]

I know Zahde would want to take him in a heartbeat, but after all this drama we really need to be a two-cat Nest. I think space was a major issue for Arwen.

Re: Im so sorry

[phoenixmedusa.livejournal.com]

I totally understand...I would not expect you to take Tybolt....
I think space was a issue too...and being part Main Coon...it is part of the personality that I have experienced with them.

[zimarra.livejournal.com]

Hey there. It's Zimarra.. Crazy chick who was over at your place this weekend. Hi.. Add me to your friends list?

Thanx..

[kenshardik]

I've found crazier things than you in my breakfast cereal. :)

You are now friended. Please reciprocate.